I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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