dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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