She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
