Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
