We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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