Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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