YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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