Say something about gay babies.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My dick has a subreddit
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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