his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
