come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
