I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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