Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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