We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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