fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
