For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
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Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
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I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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