it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize