This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
