i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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