The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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