Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
