he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
