She's JV to your varsity
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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