Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
being pregnant is like rehab
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
