i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
