I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think my fart just growled at me.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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