Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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