Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
