i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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