Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize