Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize