Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Randomize
