Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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