the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
