his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
