This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize