ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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