OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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