I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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