I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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