Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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