WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize