My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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