She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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