i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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