dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
