Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I need to align my fucking chakras
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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