i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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