the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
