I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
