All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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