Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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