I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize