Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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