she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
