If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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