She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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