Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
two words: eviction party
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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