OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
