At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
