Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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