Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize