Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
