thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
