It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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