They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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