and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
My hand turned me down
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
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He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
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He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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