she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She bit a glass in half.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
