just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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